The bedroom is for two (and only two) things: sleep, and “satisfying” sex.  That’s according to Dr. Sonia Ancoli-Israel, a sleep research specialist who spoke at LA Times Magazine’s annual conference on health & wellness. (Who wants un-satisfying sex?)

In my five years as a personal trainer, I’ve listened to many clients talk about their insomnia, struggling with my own at times.  My husband and I have tried to integrate most of the items on this list and, oh boy—when done in concert, they make a BIG difference.

1. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Yes, even on weekends. This is the single most important thing you can do for insomnia. Try not to wake your mate if your sleep hours differ.
2. Remove the clock from the bedroom, or cover it up at night.  Cover any other lights (such as LED lights on VCR’s). If you wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, do not look at the clock. This is key.
3. Don’t drink alcohol before bedtime. You may fall asleep faster, but drinking alcohol will also jolt you awake in the middle of the night.
4. Don’t eat before bedtime.
5. Do more cardio. Yoko Ono says, “Walk until your body feels like dancing. Then dance. You will find that you no more have difficulty in sleeping at night.”
6. Make the room as dark as possible and use thick window coverings; they have the added benefit of keeping noise out.
7. Keep the bedroom cool. The optimal temperature for sleep is 65-72 degrees.
8. Use a noise machine or soothing CD. We use Simonette Vaja’s guided meditation for sleep all the time. You won’t be able to make it through the CD without falling out.
9. Wind down before bedtime. A pre-bedtime ritual like reading or taking a shower or bath will relax you.
10. Use essential oil of lavender on pillows.
11. Replace old pillows, but don’t change the linens too often. Slightly slept in sheets are more comfortable to the body.
12. If you haven’t fallen asleep after 20 minutes leave the bedroom and go do something that’s relaxing and boring. When you feel sufficiently relaxed to enter the bedroom again, try again. Do not lay in bed tense or upset.
13. Avoid napping during the day.
14. Do not drink caffeine after lunch. Or better yet, eliminate caffeine altogether.
15. Find 10-20 minutes per day to worry. Don’t allow worries to come into your bedroom.

Got tips? Please leave them as comments.

I HATE THIS TIME OF YEAR. I love Girl Scout cookies (who doesn’t?) and I am often guilted into buying them by my office co-workers. This year I have 8 boxes of Thin Mints and 3 boxes of Samoas—11 boxes total!! WTF!? What am I supposed to do with all of these cookies? —Sick of Samoas

I LIKE THEM TOO, but let’s face it: ever since the Girl Scouts took the trans-fat out of the recipes, they don’t taste nearly as good. Sort of like how you expect the bride’s wedding dress to be freakishly white, but instead she comes down the aisle wearing a “neutral gray.” The same holds true for the taste of the new Girl Scout Cookies. So your first line of defense when you’re under pressure to buy: Remember: they don’t taste as good anymore.

Second, you’re getting ripped off. I don’t understand how a “box” of Samoas can equate to 15 TINY cookies. And is it just me, or do the cookies themselves seem to be shrinking each year? My point is, you’re getting much less cookie for your money. If you’re addicted to Thin Mints, a better value would be had by trying the Keebler brand Grasshopper cookie, which is nearly identical in shape and flavor.

If you’ve already caved, then rationing is one way to put some control on your inner cookie monster. If you’ve already purchased the cookies, take one or two boxes of your favorite cookies and put them in the freezer and limit yourself to one every other day, or whatever you feel is reasonable. If you have problems controlling your consumption of the cookies, try my concept of Zen Cheating.

Give away the cookies to your local food bank, church, or community center. Send them overseas to our military personnel. Take them to an expecting mom. Or the next time you fly, bring a box for the flight attendants. They almost never receive anything nice from passengers, and it might just get you bumped up to first class.

Ever since I first discovered bodybuilding in 1992, I’ve been amazed at how lifting weights truly grounds me. It’s kind of similar to what my friends say about yoga or meditation: it brings me a sense of clarity and peace.

In an eastern sense, my “western” weight room is my dojo; the weights are my sensei. Students of karate or meditation may relate to encounter some of the same lessons I’ve learned in my western dojo:

Enter only when you’re ready. Lifting weights is hard work, and doing it properly requires focus and discipline. Anything less, and at best you’ll have a lousy workout. At worst, you’ll thoroughly embarrass yourself or die. Enter the dojo only when you are 100 percent ready to give it your all—including your mental concentration.

Leave the Blackberry behind. The dojo is no place for texting.

Be in flow. During a hard, effective set, I feel a certain unawareness of the activity around me. Musicians, actors and athletes call it being in the “zone.” Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, a Croatian born psychologist and author of Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience defines being “in flow” using the following characteristics:

1. Concentration and focus: a high degree of concentration with a limited field of attention (you will have the opportunity to focus, and to delve deeply into it).
2. A loss of self-consciousness.
3. A distorted sense of time: (your subjective experience of time is altered).
4. Direct and immediate feedback (success and failure in the course of the activity are apparent, so that your behavior can be adjusted as needed).
5. The activity is neither too easy nor too difficult (challenge and ability level are balanced).
6. A sense of personal control over the situation or activity.
7. The activity is intrinsically rewarding, so there’s an effortlessness of action.
8. You become absorbed in the activity, and focus of awareness is narrowed down to the activity itself.

Do it for the sake of. When you’re in the gym, remember: this is all for you, so make the time in the dojo your own. You’re not there to impress your trainer, your spouse, or other gym goers. Do it because you choose to.

Clean up after yourself. After a workout, dojo trainees conduct a ritual cleaning of the space. This reinforces the fact that aside from the obvious hygenic benefits, the dojo are supposed to be supported and managed by the students themselves, not the instructors. So pick up that spray bottle and wipe down your equipment. It’s just good karma.

When I first set out to lose my baby fat and create my dream body back in 1999, I modified a photograph of Mark “Marky Mark” Wahlberg to have my head on his body. Creepy? Maybe. But I put the picture everywhere: on my bathroom mirror, my computer desktop — I even made a sticker and put the image on the back of my drivers license!

Back then I was 189 pounds and 29 percent body fat. Today, I weighed in at 215 pounds and 12 percent body fat. That means I’ve lost 29 pounds of fat. My body may not look exactly like Mark Wahlberg’s — but it is astoundingly closer than I ever could have dreamed back in ‘99. There’s something to be said for the power of visualization.

When I used to meet with a client for the first time, one of my initial questions was “what kind of body do you want?” People usually answered by saying, “well I’d like to get rid of my spare tire” or “I’d like to be bigger” or “I want to (fill in the blank).”

The problem with most of these responses is that they’re not measurable. For every “spare tire” a person loses, another “smaller” one, inevitably, appears. And what does getting “bigger” mean, exactly? How does a person know when they’ve gotten “big enough?”

So instead of faulting the answer, I have learned to adapt my question. Now I ask prospective clients: “Can you think of a celebrity whose body most closely matches the one you’d like to achieve?” When I ask the question that way, the answers pour out: Brad Pitt, Jerry O’Connell, Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Kate Winslet. It’s really quite amazing!

I too turn to physiques for inspiration. I’ve put a few of them here for you to see. The first one, at the top, is Brady Quinn, from the University of Notre Dame football team. The second is bodybuilder John Kesler. These guys have totally different “looks” and levels of muscularity, but basically the same frame. (more…)

The gym thrusts upon us all sorts of awkward social interactions. Let’s demystify some of these weird situations.

A NAKED STRANGER STARTS TALKING TO YOU IN THE LOCKER ROOM
Unless you know the person, it’s impolite for him/her to be in your personal space while in the locker room. Politely ask him to step away into a zone where you feel more comfortable. If he persists in talking to you, brevity is key. Replying with short answers will indicate your disinterest in extending a conversation. Even better: try a blank stare. If they persist, a polite, “I’m sorry, but I gotta get going” is an good response

SOMEONE IS WEARING SUNGLASSES
In his workout book, “No Excuses” actor Antonio Sabato Jr. swears by wearing sunglasses in the gym because he says it help him concentrate. I’ve known actress Faye Dunaway to wear sunglasses while bench pressing and while I don’t recommend wearing sunglasses in the gym, it’s more embarrassing for the person wearing them. What to do? Don’t say a peep.

THE GYM BECOMES A FASHION SHOW FOR IMPOSSIBLY TIGHT CLOTHES & FETISH GEAR
This really is a fashion issue. Since 2006, I’ve seen a resurgence in denim, tiny, see through shorts, wrestling singlets, and in Hollywood, even a guy being led around on a dog collar. As with sunglasses, however, none of these fashion choices really intrudes upon your personal safety. Modern day workout clothes are breathable (or wicking) to prevent overheating. Spandex and lycra are helpful to prevent chafing from repetitive movements (e.g., in cycling or spinning). Unless someone’s attire is patently inappropriately revealing, try not to stare. And read the next question.

A GUY KEEPS STARING
Most people stare in the gym because they’re interested in watching you work out or because, as Paris says: “You’re hot.” Both of these reasons should be flattering, but it’s not always the case. An ex of mine told me that as a younger man, guys would stare in the gym to the point where he developed a complex. “I thought something was seriously wrong with me,” he said. “I didn’t understand why everyone was looking at me.” Today, he has more self esteem, saying: “I’m just a hot guy who others like to watch for inspiration.”

If someone’s boring a hole through me, I’ll acknowledge them by smiling politely, which usually discharges the energy. If they persist, consider saying: “I notice you watching me; did you want my autograph?” As you both laugh, introduce yourself, then abruptly end the interaction by saying: “Have a good workout!”

SOMEONE DOESN’T WIPE THE SWEAT OFF THE EQUIPMENT
Assume she forgot to wipe it off, and if you feel confident, approach the individual and kindly point out that he/she might have missed cleaning up the equipment. You can also ask the maintenance team to follow up. It’s ultimately the responsibility of the facility to ensure the equipment is sterile and MRSA free.

SOMEONE WON’T SHARE THE EQUIPMENT
Busy gyms usually enforce a 30-minute limit on cardio equipment. If your gym has a time limit and someone’s extending their stay, ask a manager to handle it. A gym employee reminding a member of the time limit will go a lot further in the long run. If someone’s on the weight machine you want, ask how many sets are remaining. If she replies with three or more, ask if you can “work in” (alternate) for a couple of sets. To be a good “work in” buddy, observe the weight they’re lifting and set it back to that weight before you hand off the equipment.

THAT BRUTE DOESN’T RE-RACK HIS WEIGHTS
It’s not uncommon to leave a couple large weight plates on a machine like the bench press. Set a good example and take pride in always replacing the weights on the rack where they belong and other people will follow. A good gym should have enough staff on the floor to keep the place from becoming a weight wasteland.

A NEWBIE HAS POOR FORM
If he/she’s endangering your safety (e.g., bench pressing without clips, so a plate could fall and hit your foot) then you must say something. But it’s not your responsibility to correct their form. If you’re just being overly conscientious because you’re concerned about his safety, alert one of the certified trainers on the floor and allow him/her the opportunity to give proper instruction. Trainers will value the opportunity to pick up a new client.

When Jerry O’Connell finally “arrived” in Hollywood, his life wasn’t the only thing that had changed—his body did, too. He tells Men’s Fitness:

Today Jerry looks great. He works hard in the gym, (and I know, because I’ve spotted him pumping weights and doing cardio at Equinox). But he’s also developed discipline around his eating habits. Instead of ordering a pizza after a long day of work, now he has a salad with fat free dressing.

The real secret to his hard body? Jerry stopped augmenting his diet with junk food and additives.

“‘Additives are bad,’ he said. “I found that just by cutting out booze, salt, and dressings, the fat just drips off you.’”

Photos by Men’s Fitness

I look into the window of my mind.
Reflections of the fears I know I’ve left behind.
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending.
I am on my way…
Can’t stop me now.
And you can do the same.
What have you done today
to make you feel proud?
(It’s never too late to try).
You could be so many people
if you make that break for freedom.
What have you done today
to make you feel proud?
-Heather Small (more…)