Girl Scout Cookie Solutions

I HATE THIS TIME OF YEAR. I love Girl Scout cookies (who doesn’t?) and I am often guilted into buying them by my office co-workers. This year I have 8 boxes of Thin Mints and 3 boxes of Samoas—11 boxes total!! WTF!? What am I supposed to do with all of these cookies? —Sick of Samoas

I LIKE THEM TOO, but let’s face it: ever since the Girl Scouts took the trans-fat out of the recipes, they don’t taste nearly as good. Sort of like how you expect the bride’s wedding dress to be freakishly white, but instead she comes down the aisle wearing a “neutral gray.” The same holds true for the taste of the new Girl Scout Cookies. So your first line of defense when you’re under pressure to buy: Remember: they don’t taste as good anymore.

Second, you’re getting ripped off. I don’t understand how a “box” of Samoas can equate to 15 TINY cookies. And is it just me, or do the cookies themselves seem to be shrinking each year? My point is, you’re getting much less cookie for your money. If you’re addicted to Thin Mints, a better value would be had by trying the Keebler brand Grasshopper cookie, which is nearly identical in shape and flavor.

If you’ve already caved, then rationing is one way to put some control on your inner cookie monster. If you’ve already purchased the cookies, take one or two boxes of your favorite cookies and put them in the freezer and limit yourself to one every other day, or whatever you feel is reasonable. If you have problems controlling your consumption of the cookies, try my concept of Zen Cheating.

Give away the cookies to your local food bank, church, or community center. Send them overseas to our military personnel. Take them to an expecting mom. Or the next time you fly, bring a box for the flight attendants. They almost never receive anything nice from passengers, and it might just get you bumped up to first class.