West Hollywoodish Cranky Fat Girl Needs a Push
This ad on Craigslist was forwarded to me yesterday…
West Hollywoodish cranky fat girl needs a push…
Date: 2008-07-16, 3:41PM
My boobs are having a race with my belly and I think my boobs are losing which means it’s time for me to start walking or exercising or getting off the couch which I do seem to do often, only to eat some really good taco truck burrito at approximately 2am and then pass out.
Which I know is like the worst thing ever when you’re trying not to let your belly surpass your boobs. I’ve got a well stocked iPod. I’ve got the walking shoes. I’ve got the sunscreen. What I don’t have is any remote sort of motivation to put the three together and move my ass.
Here’s where you come in, hopefully soon. You are going to be any of the following: a totally beautiful LA 10 bitch with a perfect body who steals boyfriends and won’t be caught dead in anything less than a Maserati; a really sexy tattoo anorexic-chic punk rock model boy who would rather get a tattoo on his scrotal sac than acknowledge my presence; a fat chick who feels like shit and wants to lose weight but would rather stuff her face and squeeze her back fat; a fat guy who wants to put down the beer and weed and find out if there some muscle under all that pudge.
If you are the beautiful bitch or anorexic model boy you will show me pictures of your free trip to Europe with your sugar momma/daddy and I will think about how long it’s been since I’ve had a vacation that didn’t involve my parents and frickin’ Circus Circus and I will become so insanely jealous that I will start exercising. In turn I will help you understand that fat is not contagious and being an asshole will cause wrinkles. If you are a fat girl or guy I will relate to you and we will inspire each other to work out and eat healthy foods and stop being so fucking fat. Or we’ll be total losers and go eat at Hometown Buffet and that might be equally satisfying. Please be in the general area of West Hollywoodish. I’m not walking past any fast food establishments.
- Location: LA
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests