What should you do if your personal trainer disappoints you? A trainer offers some advice to handle four awkward situations.

Problem: He’s poorly organized, and he’s always running late.

Scenario: A trainer routinely shows up more than 15 minutes late for a client’s appointment. When the client asks why, he says: “I’m just really busy.”

Advice: Being late every so often is acceptable, (for example, if your trainer ran late with another client due to the client’s own lateness). But any wait time over 15 minutes is grounds for (at the very least) walking away and rescheduling the session. Most trainers are not particularly prompt, according to a 2005 study.

If you decide to wait, ask your trainer if there is anything you can do to minimize his delay next time. You should also ask him if the delays are normal, or if it’s an exception. He may admit to running behind frequently, and you’ll know to spend some extra time on the cardio machine in advance of your next session. If being on time is very important to you, and a trainer tells you that delays are part of the experience of being his client, you may want to look for a new trainer.

Problem: His reputation is tarnished in the gym or fitness community.

Scenario: Your trainer offers to sell you steroids or controlled substances.

Advice: If your trainer is using his practice as a steroid distribution point, you have grounds to fire him/her immediately. While it may seem uncommon, trainers are easy targets for this type of business—yet trainers that use their business as a “front” for illegal activities are the bane of the fitness industry. You don’t need to tell a trainer why you’ve decided to stop training under such circumstances. Instead, you may choose to go a step further and write her a letter detailing your reason for leaving, or take it a step further and report her to the better business bureau.

Problem: The trainer has trouble with boundaries.

Real-Life Scenario: A 41-year-old woman is seeing her new trainer. After the fitness assessment, he stares at the client’s thighs and suggests that she should try endermologie treatments, which can be “conveniently” provided by his girlfriend, saying: “You’re so attractive, but you’ve got all that cellulite: how gross!”

Advice: Every trainer makes his/her own share of embarrassing remarks—it’s part of developing what I call “bench-side manner.” Try to evaluate whether the person was just running at the mouth or whether he was really trying to manipulate you by insulting you. After the dust settles from the off-color remark, ask yourself: Do I trust this person? Am I impressed with his abilities as a trainer? If so, do your best to look past his quirky personality. You can also tell him you don’t appreciate his odd remarks, by making a joke, like: “It’s YOUR job to help reduce my cellulite, mister!” or a bit more directly: “You know, endermologie is a medical treatment, and you’re not a licensed medical professional. Maybe you should entrust my health care to my doctor — after all…I do.” The bottom line is that your trainer should treat you with respect and trust.

Problem: He’s narrow minded

Scenario: You tell your trainer you’re seeing an acupuncturist, and he laughs: “HA!” he says. “Acupuncture is total bullshit. The only thing that works for me is chiropractors. They’re the ones who really ‘jolt’ your bones. Acupuncturists are for weenies.”

Advice: Everyone pretty much agrees that alternative modalities such as hypnosis, acupuncture, reiki, and massage have some scientifically valid and proven health benefits. A trainer who discredits them is probably not worth his salt, because he’s not keeping up on current research. Most of what a trainer learns in “training school” is generally changed when he begins his career working in the field, and continues to evolve well into his career. If you’ve expressed your desire to try one of these ancient healing arts and your trainer isn’t really that interested, perhaps it’s the time to move on.

IMAGE AND TEXT © 2008 SAM PAGE FITNESS

by Bob Lattanzio

THREE WEEKS, 6 DAYS, 6 HOURS AND 43 MINUTES. That’s how long it’s been since my last cup of coffee. Not that I’ve been thinking about it. Okay, maybe a little. I used to drink coffee every day. One or two cups with breakfast, another cup at work, sometimes a cup at a cafe.

The odyssey began a little over a month ago, when my doctor recommended that I see an acupuncturist for the bursitis in my shoulder. Physical therapy had helped in the past, but the pain still flared up from time to time. So off I went.

Hey Sam. I’m a 32-year-old guy and I lift weights three days a week. Last week I heard that there a link between weightlifting and glaucoma. Is this true? —JV, West Hollywood

IMAGINE IF BARBIE, THAT ICONIC plastic ho (thanks, Urban Dictionary) became a “real” woman. How would she look?  Considering that there are 3 billion women on the planet who don’t look like Barbie, only 8 women in the world  even come close.

If Barbie were a real woman, her head would be the same circumference as her waist, meaning she’d have room for only half a liver and a few inches of intestines, (as opposed to the usual 26 feet). The result: chronic diarrhea and death from malabsorption & malnutrition.

To look like Barbie proportionally, a healthy woman would need to add 61 cm to her height, subtract 15 cm from her waist, add 13 cm to her chest, and 8 cm to her neck length.

Because Barbie’s neck is twice as long as the average human’s, it would be impossible for her to hold up her head. Her legs are 50 percent longer than her arms, (the average woman’s legs are only 20 percent longer than her arms). She’d also have to walk on all fours (her feet are so disproportionately small, her chest would pull her forward onto her toes).

REAL WOMEN
Average woman’s height is 5’4″
Their weight is approx. 140 lbs.
They wear a size 14 dress
Their bust is between 36″ and 37″ (B cup)
Their waist is between 30″ and 34″
Their hips average between 40″ and 42″
Their shoe size is estimated to be between 8.5 and 9.5

BARBIE
Barbie’s height would be 7’2″
Her weight would be 101 lbs.
She would wear a size 4 dress
Her bust would be 39″ (FF cup)
Her waist would be 19″ (same as her head)
Her hips would be 33″
Her shoe size would be a 5