MY MOTHER IN LAW CONNY and I couldn’t finish watching this clip today. These triumphant, yet bittersweet moments captured here were the end of a painful 30-year journey for my husband Bronson which he recounts in his rock opera  Damages. His most painful childhood memories told through 18 songs by Queen.

About 1 million children are raped/molested every year globally, and these are just the cases that are reported.  The stress caused by sexual abuse causes notable changes in brain functioning and development — and can result in long term problems such as antisocial personality disorder, alcohol/drug abuse and depression.

While the issue of child rape is awkward, painful and disturbing — it is far too important to be ignored by Hollywood. Have a taste: fivepages.pdf

I CAUGHT AN OLD EPISODE OF OPRAH last night. Her guest was the singer PINK (who I adore) talk about her relationship, and how important it was for her to stay the course in her relationship rather than start over again. “That’s what relationships are for — to teach us about ourselves, and to help us grow.” According to PINK, this song, “I Don’t Believe You” was a healing force in her relationship.

P!nk – I Don’t Believe You (Acoustic Live On Oprah 2010) HD

Decades before Lady Gaga, there was Cyndi Lauper, and her song “True Colors” is really important to me. It always leaves me a little nostalgic for what once “was” but still a little hopeful about what is “yet to come.” Lately, it seems there’s so much uncertainty and upheaval in our lives, especially with Conny’s stroke. But further beneath the uncertainty (I think) lies an abundant wellspring of joy, laughter, and peace. It just requires that we dig down a little deeper, so our true colors come shining through.

Like a rainbow.

I love Kylie Minogue for so many reasons, not the least of which is that she’s a breast cancer survivor. This video, filmed in the streets of downtown LA, is inspired.

All the lovers // That have gone before // They don’t compare to you
Don’t be running // Just give me a little bit more

I’m not a huge fan (loved School Ties), but you can’t argue with Chris O’Donnell’s results in the gym. He’s the cover of the May 2010 issue of Men’s Fitness.

“My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.” ~Ellen Degeneres

My grandma, “Ama” turned 80 years old today. Having a new octogenarian in the family, I’ve studied her carefully, trying to figure out some of her secrets to life. I’m fascinated by people such as Jack LaLanne who continue to thrive well into their winter years.

Ama started walking a few miles each day in her 50s, and she’d say exercise has been her lifeblood. In a note I received today, she glowed: “I need to stay busy and I LOVE yard work.” (BTW, the “O” in “love” was a HEART).  She still walks, almost every day.  Four years ago, on her 76th, she hiked Angels Landing.

She drinks only beer, coffee, milk and water, and she doesn’t eat cheese. She takes niacin and a multivitamin but she’s not a supplement fan. And definitely not big on modern medicine.

I’ve learned so much in life from her that it’s difficult to describe. But the most striking things came into focus in the last year, (more…)

I love Alan Ritchson and the weirdly lovable college football quarterback, Thad Castle, he plays on SPIKE’s new scripted comedy “Blue Mountain State.” Who wouldn’t love seeing Ritchson running football drills in a jock?

A couple weeks back, I announced that I planned on deleting my Facebook profile. A few people asked why, so here’s my response.

I’ve had a difficult time deciding who to “be” on Facebook. For example: do I accept friend requests from my clients? How much do I want my professional and personal life to overlap? In many ways, I’m a pretty private guy. This overlap necessitates a certain amount of self-censorship, and that bothers me.

Facebook provides lots of ambient knowledge (via status updates) but I don’t feel that I actually process the information very effectively. And how important is it to have all this knowledge, anyway? The site is supposed to help us “connect and share with the people in your life” but often, I feel isolated on Facebook, with most interactions lacking much depth.

My mom’s death last month sharpened my focus on a lot of things, one of them being my desire to make an effort to spend more quality time with the people in my life who matter most. I have hundreds of friends on Facebook, but really I’ve got eight or 10 close friends who I interact with on a regular basis. My intuition says that when I quit Facebook, my close relationships will have a pretty strong uptick in quality, via phone calls and real “face” time.

This quote is on our fridge: “Find life experiences and swallow them whole. Travel. Meet many people. Go down some dead ends and explore dark alleys. Try everything. Exhaust yourself in the glorious pursuit of life.”

My mom loved her laptop, but she never joined Facebook. She was too busy knitting, hiking and having friends over for dinner. I too, want to do more yoga, hike the Grand Canyon, bake more cookies, travel, laugh with friends, and go on more adventures with Bronson. I’m pretty sure that when my time comes, I won’t wish I’d spent more time on Facebook.

I welcome your thoughts.

And thanks for four great years.

I am grateful for the surgeons who aren’t assholes. I am grateful for Taxol and Carboplatin and painkillers and radiation and CA-125 markers and carrot juice. For clean windows and Tylenol and singing penguins. For poppies and Subway and walks around the neighborhood. For candles finally lit, for losing our expectations. For flat rate boxes and black licorice scotty dogs from Trader Joe’s. For the O-VAX and the Hamster Dance, peach salsa and Seinfeld. For long talks with grandmothers. And mothers. For the friends who ask “how’s your mom?” and for those who don’t, because it’s too much to explain again, anyway. For Skype and Sha Sha, and her friend Kathy, and that high school friend who takes her out to lunch sometimes. For picnic lunches, heirloom tomatoes and flax muffins. For hand sanitizer and urgent care and shopping at Costco in a surgical mask. For e-mails from survivors and free nights and weekends. And I’m grateful for “good” days; really grateful for those. I pray for more days of getting sandwiches and driving to the park and watching clouds fly and wondering if we should buy a kite? I pray for a trip to Cheyenne and for a rodeo somewhere so that she can see me dog a steer. I pray for time.
Protect her during this time of magical thinking.
I am grateful for butterflies.