My Beef With Facebook
A couple weeks back, I announced that I planned on deleting my Facebook profile. A few people asked why, so here’s my response.
I’ve had a difficult time deciding who to “be” on Facebook. For example: do I accept friend requests from my clients? How much do I want my professional and personal life to overlap? In many ways, I’m a pretty private guy. This overlap necessitates a certain amount of self-censorship, and that bothers me.
Facebook provides lots of ambient knowledge (via status updates) but I don’t feel that I actually process the information very effectively. And how important is it to have all this knowledge, anyway? The site is supposed to help us “connect and share with the people in your life” but often, I feel isolated on Facebook, with most interactions lacking much depth.
My mom’s death last month sharpened my focus on a lot of things, one of them being my desire to make an effort to spend more quality time with the people in my life who matter most. I have hundreds of friends on Facebook, but really I’ve got eight or 10 close friends who I interact with on a regular basis. My intuition says that when I quit Facebook, my close relationships will have a pretty strong uptick in quality, via phone calls and real “face” time.
This quote is on our fridge: “Find life experiences and swallow them whole. Travel. Meet many people. Go down some dead ends and explore dark alleys. Try everything. Exhaust yourself in the glorious pursuit of life.”
My mom loved her laptop, but she never joined Facebook. She was too busy knitting, hiking and having friends over for dinner. I too, want to do more yoga, hike the Grand Canyon, bake more cookies, travel, laugh with friends, and go on more adventures with Bronson. I’m pretty sure that when my time comes, I won’t wish I’d spent more time on Facebook.
I welcome your thoughts.
November 6th, 2009 at 11:11 am
I can respect and support your decision, but I do want you to know: some of your friends who love you and Bronson dearly don’t live anywhere near you and we really enjoy the small glimpses into your lives that we get from FaceBook.
(I know this sounds all passive-aggressive manipulative, but I swear it’s not. Just trying to give you another perspective, is all.)
MmmmWUH – SMIB
November 6th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
What about Twitter and our blogs – can’t friends find us there/here? Just curious to know why you prefer Facebook over those other tools. peace, love, lunges — sam
November 7th, 2009 at 1:09 am
Sam, I completely agree with you on your decision. I also deactivated my fb b/c in all honesty, you can’t really draw the line between the different types of people you meet in real life. everything just merges into fb. totally understand where youre coming from!
November 12th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
@Bruin — did you get a lot of grief from your friends?
February 15th, 2010 at 10:05 pm
See your point, but also’ve gotten back in touch with many people I never would’ve heard from again. Like a long-lost cousin from Kentucky after over 30 (!) years. And remembering bdays or something important in a friend’s life (like you) ’cause I caught an update. Think of you often and am glad we are connected via some networks. Would love to play/work with you again soon. Lots of love, N.