Women Voice Discontent Over Passage of Prop 8
The past few days since Proposition 8 was passed have been remarkable. What’s surprised me most are the number of women I know who are pretty united in their anger and sadness over the passage of the anti-marriage amendment to the California state constitution.
Ying, in Utah, writes:
“Even from this wacko state that I live in, there are many that are opposed to “8″ and just this last weekend, LDS Mothers Against 8 rallied in SLC.”
Last night, a text from my friend Alexis:
“RU coming 2 the rally? We have 2 show them that they can’t take away our rights.”
My mom writes:
“I can’t even imagine the hurt you and Bronson must be feeling today after California citizens voted to pass Prop 8. You and Bronson are in [our] thoughts and prayers. We pray that together we will seek to find a peace that brings us to open a dialogue respectful of one another’s values.”
Janet in Hollywood says:
“I just watched your video on Prop 8, and am sitting at my computer in tears, swimming in frustration at the ignorance of our close minded country. I am SO SORRY that that horrible bill passed and I just want you to know that we will FIGHT it. I find your marriage inspirational and I absolutely recognize it, whether or not the courts are ready to.”
In the few moments I’ve witnessed the civil rights movement in action, I’ve never ceased to be amazed at the number of “normal” people who do get it and who, like Barack Obama, believe that equality for gays and lesbians “is a moral imperative.” Perhaps it’s precisely because women know what discrimination feels like that they’re so in tune with our struggle.
November 7th, 2008 at 11:22 am
I am very happy for the support that you have received, Sam, particularly from your mother. I know how very much that can mean. I have never been able to have a significant dialog with my own mother over any gay issues since I came out to her a little over a year ago–it was too uncomfortable for her. To be completely truthful, it was far too uncomfortable for me, as well.
However, on the day after the rally in West Hollywood, we had a phone conversation in which she said that taking away the rights of gays to marry was simply wrong. She showed compassion and understanding. When I explained that we had much of the city shut down for several hours, she simply said “Good–they had no business taking away anybody’s right to marry.”
Maybe women understanding love better than straight men. Maybe they understand better the desire to commit to somebody forever. I don’t know–I am just grateful for the support.
About the rally. . .
I realize that the post isn’t about the rally, but I figured I would give you an insider’s view. I was there. It changed my life.
I went to the planned rally at the intersection of San Vicente and Santa Monica Blovds. in West Hollywood to protest the passage of Prop 8. It was scheduled to start at 7 PM. I got there at 6:30, and there were already a few hundred people there. The crowd swelled, soon filling every corner of the intersection, holding signs and banners. A lot of the cars passing gave us the “thumbs up” sign, and blasted their horns in support. By 7 PM, there were so many of us, we simply ignored the barricades that the police had set up, and took over the intersection. Traffic was stopped, but all of us were simply elated. It would be wrong to describe the mood as angry. Defiant, perhaps. Determined.
We then marched east on Santa Monica Blvd for a short time, stopping any movement down east-bound Santa Monica. This lasted a relatively short time, however, because the scheduled rally at the blocked off portion of San Vicente was about to begin. The crowds continued to grow, and by the time the speakers had finished, there must have been a few thousand of us there. We again moved out onto the San Vicente and Santa Monica Blvd intersection. It was almost like I was watching a movie–the feeling was that surreal. A guy in front of me yelled out “To Sunset!”, and the crowd followed suit, marching up to Sunset Blvd. It was completely unplanned. It was perfect.
No traffic could get by us as we travelled north on San Vicente. We were not there to cause trouble–simply to make our disappointment known. I’ve heard the media say that the crowd numbered in the thousands. I swear, by that point, it felt like there were at least 10,000 people involved.
We marched onto Sunset Blvd. Sunset Blvd! We headed east, completely blocking traffic headed in that direction, and all but one lane headed west. People in all of the (straight) restaurants cheered us as we passed. The slow moving traffic headed west rolled down the windows, cheering us on, and I hi-fived just about all of them. When we hit Sunset Plaza, a guy in a black Mercedes put his hand out of his window for me to slap, and I realized it was Lance Bass, grinning from ear to ear. I must have screamed out “Lance!” as bit too loudly, because his car was soon surrounded. He was gracious, and wonderful, and we felt energized by seeing him.
I stood in the center median of Sunset Plaza, and as far as I could see, in both directions, was a sea of protesters.
We continued, and made it to the Sunset Blvd/Crescent Heights intersection, which we completely blocked off. Some sat on the ground, and the rest of us simply stood. And even though we had traffic compleetely blocked off, we were surrounded by people supporting us. Even the people in the cars that we were blocking were giving us hi-fives and shouts of encouragement. Behind me, Sunset was full of protesters, and as I looked down Crescent Heights, I could see that that street, too, was now full of protesters. It was an incredible, incredible moment. There must have been 20,000 people involved altogether–the media report of “thousands” just doesn’t give the full scope.
We marched dowm Crescent Heights, blocking all of the southbound traffic, and all but one lane of the northbound traffic. And again, people lined the streets supporting us. The few cars that we allowed to travel north were all cheering us on. I don’t ever want to forget the feeling of looking at a protester on my side with disbelief as to what was occuring, and seeing that same sense of wonder in his eyes, as well.
We made the inevitable turn back onto Santa Monica Blvd, and headed back to Boystown.
It was an incredible night.
I love this city. It’s easy to get discouraged by the recent passage of Prop 8, but on the night of the rally, all that I felt was love and support, not just from my fellow gays, but from the straight community, as well.
It might just be that the passage of Prop 8 will mobilize us to such an extent that it will be almost a sort of blessing. All things are possible.
All I know right now is that I am grateful that my mother, whom I love so much, can now begin to see the pain that is caused by anti-gay bigotry. And I am grateful, as well, that I feela determination to see Prop 8 overturned.
November 7th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Jonathan, your account of the demonstration reminds me of the night that we walked Santa Monica Boulevard after Matthew Shepherd was murdered. Thanks for recounting it so vividly. I’m also heartened by your mom’s reaction to the passage of Prop. 8. In a word: awesome!
November 7th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
As a straight woman, Prop 8 appalls me on too many levels to count. I don’t think you have to be gay in order to realize what’s at stake here isn’t morality, but basic civil and legal rights to ALL people, no matter who you sleep with.
And you’ll never convince me that the supporters of Prop 8 did it out of fear that their so-called traditional family & marriage would be trampled on. Otherwise, they’d have a law banning 80 year-old men from marrying 19 year-old women. It’s ignorance, plain and simple, and ignorance can be fought. People can be educated.
And I will continue to do everything I can to make sure that ALL people have the same basic rights that I do. And that my friends – like you & Bronson & my best friend, Tracy – have the same legal rights that I do, and that the vows I was lucky enough to witness between you & Bronson are legally recognized.
I wish I’d seen you at the rally on Tuesday so I could have hugged you and told you this & given you my love & support in person.
November 7th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Brenda, from the moment we met in that Coffee Bean four years ago, you had a special place in my heart. Your comments are so beautiful, and really inspiring to me. Thank you for using your forces for good.
November 7th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
At the risk of this turning into a total lovefest, right back at you, Sam.
You’ve been an inspiration to me since the day we met. And, man, 4 years…feels like it’s been longer. It feels like I’ve always known you, to be honest.
One of these days, we really are going to need to catch up in person. It’s been too long.