My mother is not well, and I am worried about her. She is due for a pretty major operation tomorrow, St. Patrick’s Day, which is also my grandmother’s 79th birthday. My mom and I spoke on the phone yesterday for about an hour, and it was one of the most difficult conversations we’ve had, probably only second to my coming out conversation in 1996. When we hung up the phone I was left with the nagging reality that she could be… mortal.

I never think about my mother dying. She is the impermeable stalwart of life — the one who bore me, after all. Imagining a world without her, even though our relationship is very different now, is terrifying.

If you don’t see many blog entries this week, you’ll know why.