MY MOTHER IN LAW CONNY and I couldn’t finish watching this clip today. These triumphant, yet bittersweet moments captured here were the end of a painful 30-year journey for my husband Bronson which he recounts in his rock opera Damages. His most painful childhood memories told through 18 songs by Queen.
About1 million children are raped/molested every year globally, and these are just the cases that are reported. The stress caused by sexual abuse causes notable changes in brain functioning and development — and can result in long term problems such as antisocial personality disorder, alcohol/drug abuse and depression.
While the issue of child rape is awkward, painful and disturbing — it is far too important to be ignored by Hollywood. Have a taste: fivepages.pdf
When Jerry O’Connell finally “arrived” in Hollywood, his life wasn’t the only thing that had changed—his body did, too. He tells Men’s Fitness:
“‘All of a sudden, I was going out and getting invited to parties with an open bar,’ he half-laments. Moving from his previous, more sheltered existence to the role of a partying TV star was a major challenge for O’Connell, and it wasn’t long, he says, before the nightlife took top billing over his health. Working hard by day and binge drinking on the weekends, he began to gain weight rapidly. Though an athletically built 6-foot-2, he was nonetheless soon pushing 200 pounds.”
Today Jerry looks great. He works hard in the gym, (and I know, because I’ve spotted him pumping weights and doing cardio at Equinox). But he’s also developed discipline around his eating habits. Instead of ordering a pizza after a long day of work, now he has a salad with fat free dressing.
The real secret to his hard body? Jerry stopped augmenting his diet with junk food and additives.
“‘Additives are bad,’ he said. “I found that just by cutting out booze, salt, and dressings, the fat just drips off you.’”
Brad Pitt testifies to the power offundamental choice, telling W Magazine that becoming a father inspired him to quit smoking cigarettes:
“In the late 90′s [Brad] was something of a slacker, ‘spending too much time smoking things I shouldn’t be,’ Pitt recalls. ‘I was asking, What’s it about? It couldn’t just be wanting a successful movie or something. Then I got more engaged, started studying more and [my] interests blossomed.’”
“Pitt admits that his own mortality frightens him—’I’m scared to death of death,’ he says—and he also acknowledges that becoming a father inspired him to give up a deadly 20-year habit. ‘I quit smoking,’ he says when asked how family life has changed him. ‘That was the only thing that got me to quit. That was it. Done.’”
Borne of her desire not to “subsist on lemon water in the middle of winter,” Actress Gwyneth Paltrow asked her physician, a detox diet specialist, for an alternative to the Master Cleanse, (which is so two years ago). Says Gwyneth:
“[My doctor] actually thinks that the Master Cleanse can be dangerous because the liver is not supported by the nutrients it needs. What it came down to was this: you can detox easily and effectively while you continue to eat as long as you are cutting out the foods and other substances that interfere with the detoxification process.”
The cleanse itself focuses on antioxidant heavy smoothies and lots of spicy soups (like the watercress miso) and steamy herbal tea. Clients who have actually done the cleanse enjoyed the cucumber mojito and miso soup.
If you’re on Facebook, you’ve likely been “tagged” with this Internet meme, in which you’re supposed to share 25 things, facts, habits or goals that your friends don’t know about you. Like a chain letter, you choose 25 people to be tagged, (tagging the person who tagged you). If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.
Here’s my list:
I moved to Los Angeles 12 years ago, and while I’ve found so much success and happiness here, I miss living in a smaller town.
I’m trying on the idea of a life without shame.
A quote that’s really stuck with me: “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” (Eleanor Roosevelt).
At 6-foot-3-inches and 230 pounds, I’m somewhat clumsy and struggle with spatial awareness. Like, this week while training a client, I nearly tipped over backwards when I tripped over my own foot. Luckily, I caught myself.
After eight years bleaching my hair, I’m making a conscious choice to embrace the gray, a la Anderson Cooper.
Sex, sunsets, Bronson, and licorice. What more does a guy need?
I love film scores, and they’ve formed the soundtracks to many periods of my life. A few of my favorites: Brokeback Mountain, Moulin Rouge, and Run Lola Run.
I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich pretty much every day.
My favorite food used to be chicken fajitas, but it’s been replaced by my mother-in-law’sslum gullion, which is sublime.
I consider myself a Zen Christian, a term coined by my college journalism professor Michael Kirkhorn (R.I.P.) On that note, I believe that a historical person named Jesus existed, but I don’t believe he was the only manifestation of the divine. I believe there are many names for what we call “God” and that no one religious sect has a corner on the truth.
Speaking of college, I attended Gonzaga University in Spokane, known for its basketball team. After graduating with a double major in speech and journalism, I made ends meet working as a funeral singer.
I’ve performed in the following operas: Die Fledermaus, the Ballad of Baby Doe, and La Boheme. I’ve auditioned for both the Metropolitan and Los Angeles Opera companies.
The habit I’d most like to break is biting my cuticles.
I found a copy of Playgirl when I was 5, and shoplifted a red Speedo at age 13. Seven years later, at age 22, I came out as a gay man. I was diagnosed HIV+ at 29, after a year of performing in adult films. I’m not implying any kind of cause and effect—that’s just the timeline. I have no regrets.
For the last five years, I’ve been working full time as a personal trainer. My decision to become a trainer was directly informed by my desire to take my health and fitness more seriously in the wake of the above diagnosis. But, I’m not perfect and I’m always trying to find balance and get out of my own way.
If I forget my headphones in the gym, I’m screwed. I work out almost every weekday, but I don’t do enough cardio. As a way to keep me accountable, I started posting photographs of the LED screen from my time on the cardio machines to my Facebook profile.
I’m rethinking how I feel about the terms “fag” and “queer.” I get the whole “reclaiming the word” thing, but I reject that the words ever belonged to the gay community in the first place. How can a pejorative term ever be reconstituted as positive?
The physical accomplishment of which I’m the proudest is completing the 2000 AIDSRide from San Francisco to Los Angeles, which took 7 days and a whole lot of Gatorade.
The first book I remember reading is Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak, but I don’t really like fiction. I have a tattoo of the main character, “wild” Max, on my right shoulder. My second tattoo (the word “Discipline” across my back) took four hours. The tattoos taken together represent for me the dynamic tension of my life experience.
My favorite sound are “I’m home,” which is tied with the sound of a rainstorm pounding against the roof. The two together? Heaven.
My favorite quote of all time:
“I want to beg you, as much as I can, be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves—they are like locked rooms or books written in a foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you now because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live some distant day into the answer.” (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet).
I don’t agree with Rush Limbaugh or Dr. Laura, but I listen to both of them. Show me an absolutist and I’ll show you a hypocrite.
Everyone should work in a bar at least once. It’s a microcosm for the whole world. Also, there’s no place on Earth more humbling than a porn set.
The Texas Dept. of Criminal Justice Parole Board approved MARK DALTON, (a.k.a. Jeremy Sons) today, for parole on February 16, 2009. Dalton has been incarcerated for 18 ½ months due to a parole violation. The last several months he was housed at the Mineral Wells facility, east of Ft. Worth. He will parole to his hometown of Denton, TX.
Dalton’s last adult film appearance was in the highly successful, “Mark Meets Zeb: The Texas Two-Step.” And, prior to that, he starred in Falcon’s blockbuster, “Super Soaked.”
The restaurant manager who created controversywith her $100 contribution to the “Yes on Prop. 8″ campaign has resigned from the legendary El Coyote Mexican Cafe in Los Angeles.
Marjorie Christofferson, who is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, is also resigning as a member of the restaurant’s board of directors, according to a news release issued by Frontiers.
Will Christofferson’s resignation be seen by the LGBT community as reason enough to cease a boycott of El Coyote? We’ll soon find out.
Billy Schoeppner, the restaurant’s acting manager, told Frontiers: (more…)
Brothers and sisters, we are off-topic, and losing style points. This is not a Marjorie Christofferson issue. It’s not an El Coyote issue. It’s a civil rights issue. We need to remember that and keep our eyes on the ball, lest we devolve further into angry mobs for whom nobody could feel compassion. Attacking an elderly woman in Palm Springs? Seriously, that’s despicable.
Defending our position against all sorts of fire-breathing ignoramuses has really crystallized this issue for me. I’m clever, but I didn’t go to law school, and I can’t say it any better than this, (more…)
The recent efforts to boycott Los Angeles’ historic El Coyote Mexican Cafe remind me of the Coors beer embargo in the late 90s. The gay community was largely in support of the boycott, but at HERO Magazine, we took some heat for accepting advertising from Coors when it was demonstrated that the company (as distinct from the Coors family) was actually very supportive of LGBT causes.
The best result for an LGBT boycott of El Coyote would be a real apology by the co-owner, Marjorie Christofferson, coupled with an action that shows she’s sincere (e.g., a big donation to the Lambda Legal Defense Fund). A manager at El Coyote told me that the restaurant already plans to make hefty donations (a $10,000 figure was volleyed) to Lambda Legal and the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center.
But I wouldn’t hold your breath for an outright apology from Ms. Christofferson, a lifelong Mormon. She made it clear to me that she would not apologize for her faith, nor could she change her convictions. “I will not [make a contribution to repeal Prop. 8],” she said. “I cannot change a lifetime of faith.”
The gay community is angry about the passage of Prop. 8, and we have a right to be. We have a right to demonstrate, and yes—even a right to boycott. We can bring giants down if we want to. But I submit that an El Coyote boycott isn’t the right place to put our energy right now. (more…)
Here’s part 1, Marjorie’s Christofferson’s remarks:
Here’s part 2, where I ask Ms. Christofferson: “Would you be willing to make a personal donation to repeal the amendment?” Video after the jump…(more…)
