My mantra of the moment: “Beyond our ideas of right and wrong, there lies a field.  I’ll meet you there.” -Rumi

Snow Canyon was one of my favorite places as a kid. On March 17, 2009, Bronson got to experience it for the first time, along with my grandmother.  —Sam

This was sent to me by a friend on his 40th birthday…

• Just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
• We don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
• No matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
• True friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
• You can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
• It’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
• You should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
• You can keep going long after you think you can’t.
• You are responsible for what you do, no matter how you feel.
• Either you control your attitude or it controls you.
• Heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
• Money is a lousy way of keeping score.
• Sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.
• Sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
• Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
• It isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
• No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
• Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
• Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
• Even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you—you will find the strength to help.
• Credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
• The people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

GROWING UP, I used to pretend that my red Radio Flyer was my very own car. I’d take imaginary trips to see my grandmother in southern Utah, holding an invisible steering wheel as I guided the “car” along each bend in the road. When I arrived at her house, I never wanted to leave.

Some things never change.

On my shoulder is a tattoo from Where the Wild Things Are. It’s the story of Max, a mischievous boy who goes on a scary adventure in a jungle far from home. He dances with monsters, who crown him “king of the wild things.”  We named our Yorkshire Terrier after him.

Max has come to symbolize my journey through life. After high school, I needed to get out of Utah. I didn’t know how to deal with the reality that I was into guys. After college, I moved to LA and launched HERO Magazine. Maybe then they’ll accept me, I thought. I spent the better part of a decade chasing that.

In the wake of my mom’s health, that seems so distant and unimportant now.

There’s this flood of conflicting emotions inside me; I’m still in a daze.
I’m angry that we’ve essentially lost 12 years: we’ll never get them back.
I feel guilty: did I contribute to her cancer?

I’m coming to grip with that line in Fight Club:

This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.

I’m overwhelmed by all the love and support, and at the same time I’m not very good at accepting help. Ironically, the concern of loved ones causes me to retreat deeper into the jungle.

Fortunately, Where the Wild Things Are ends on an up note: Max eventually gets lonely and returns home to his room and finds a hot supper waiting for him.

Like Max, these past seven days have taught me that no matter how hard you try, you can’t run away from home.

Eric (left) and Bronson on our pre-Oscar party warehouse shopping trip to Costco.

THERE ARE HOTELS THAT FEEL PRETENTIOUS and there those rarer destinations that feel like home, kind of like an episode of déjà vu. After at least a dozen weekend trips to Palm Springs in as many years, the spankin’ new Ace Hotel and Swim Club ranks at the top of my list for getting nearly everything “right.”

Well Done Thing #1: The Marketing. I found their stylishly designed matte postcard at my local Rudy’s barbershop in Silverlake. That should have been my first clue that my husband and I were in for a truly “underground” treat. We were indeed, with a standard $89 room (upgraded for no additional charge by Jesse upon arrival). Cool lobby details: Fake deer antlers, the Scoutmaster handbook, and a photo booth.

Well Done Thing #2: The Rooms. Think “the W goes camping.” A huge, comfy bed. Slatted walls for hooks, bathrobes and magazine clippings. A big flatscreen TV with high speed Internet (included) and a roomy shower with an enormous rain-style can showerhead. Canvas-covered walls with grommetted canvas flaps instead of curtains. Oh and that faux-mini bear rug? Genius.

Well Done Thing #3: The Service. I’ll be damned if we didn’t phone the front desk at 3am for an extra pillow (big boys need two apiece) and they actually brought it to the room within 10 minutes. Much earlier poolside, We asked for a pour of Hendrick’s gin and the waitstaff made it happen. Then there was that seamless upgrade I mentioned earlier. And keep in mind, we were there on opening weekend, when everything’s bound to go wrong.

There were a couple hiccups. The poolside staff hadn’t stocked towels, and the steam/sauna in the Spa wasn’t up and running on our trip. The indoor restaurant wasn’t open (but the outdoor section was pretty much packed on a pretty chilly February night). But these were minor glitches in the Matrix.

The best part about the hotel was that it allowed us to really unwind and find a little peace (and love!)  before returning to the sometimes frenetic, chaotic city life. That’s what a good hotel should be all about. And that’s why the Ace Hotel and Swim Club is all aces, baby.

I mean we love guys who do chores.